According to Harvard Business Review, 87% of business issues are due to the lack of interpersonal communication skills, and
not the lack of competencies.
So how do we fix our communication skills to ensure that we avoid issues, and are communicating for results?
It starts with adopting four fundamental communication principles:
1. Self-knowledge
2. Building rapport
3. Valuing diversity
4. Co-creating results
Self-knowledge. Think about the qualities you use most often and how they affect the way you communicate. For example, are you naturally competitive, with a tendency to take charge when there’s a gap? How does this come out in your communication style? How does it impact your communication with someone who tends to be more accommodating and collaborative? Do you lose their attention? Do they resist offering comments?
Or are you a big-picture thinker with rapid-fire ideas and little patience for details? How might this impact your discussion with someone who takes a more practical approach and needs those details to make a decision? Do you see frustration in their face? Do they ask question after question trying to get the information they need?
Building rapport. Developing an understanding of how the other person “hears” is the first step in building rapport. Too often we dive into a conversation, a presentation, a meeting, communicating the way we like to communicate versus the way others will hear and respond to us. Take a step back and realize that people are different. “The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” – Carl Jung. Adapt your communication style to meet the needs of others.
If we don’t take the time to understand ourselves and think about our audience and the way they need to be communicated to, we run the risk of de-railing the conversation altogether. And “good bye” desired results.
Here are some common communication de-railers:
• Win at all costs
• Lost in the details
• Acquiescing
• Change for the sake of change
• Change resistant
• Controlling
• Argumentative
• Impulsive
• Detached and aloof
Do any of these make you say, “Yep. That’s me.” Or better yet, “Yikes! That’s me!” If so, then it’s time assess how you’re communicating.
Valuing diversity. We all have various styles within us, and we each have a preference for one or two. Each style brings value to the team. The take-charge style ensures that work moves along. The creative style brings innovation and energy. The calm, collaborative style brings harmony and inclusion. And the analytical, detail-oriented style ensures that nothing falls through the cracks. Recognizing the value in these diverse styles is essential to achieving results. We need to embrace the strengths of others and use those strengths to have the strongest team, the best ideas, and the greatest impact.
Co-creating results. This process happens as a result of the first three principles: self-knowledge, building rapport and valuing diversity. When these are successfully in play, all parties can work together to create the desired outcome. We are all so much smarter, and will get the greatest results when we bring the best of everyone’s ideas to the table.
Interested in learning more about your communication style and how to recognize and connect to other styles for improved results? Check out the assessment tools on the PeopleThink website, and contact me at 415.440.7944 or kcolligan@peoplethink.biz.
Till next time,
Karen
