According to an Impraise survey, managers are 55% LESS interested than their employees are in improving their own listening skills. Really?
Does that mean they think they already have perfect listening skills, or that they don’t think listening skills are as important as, say, presentation skills (which scored higher in the survey results)? Whichever it is, I think we can all agree that it’s just a tad bit unrealistic. Let’s face it, we can probably ALL use a tune up on our listening skills.
Most of us learned to listen from our parents through trial and error. “How many times do I have to tell you?” “Are you listening to me?” “You never listen.” “I’ve told you time and time again…” Sound familiar? It was really more about hearing and remembering and complying. There were no effective listening classes in school.
As adults, the stakes are higher. Listening, really listening, can pinpoint the client’s needs in a sales meeting; improve a manager/employee relationship; make the difference in a medical diagnosis.
Effective communication is when the sender and receiver of information interpret that information in the same way. For the receiver (listener) that requires not interrupting, paraphrasing what was said, asking clarifying questions, withholding judgment, and conveying an openness that encourages the speaker to share openly. It means waiting until the speaker is finished to formulate a response. And it means listening with your eyes as well as your ears. What does the speaker’s body language tell you? What is being left unsaid?
So let me ask you, are you really listening? Spend a few minutes taking this brief Listening Skills Inventory to self-assess. It’s for your eyes only, so be brutally honest with yourself. It’s a starting point.
Rate yourself on each of the following questions. Score 4 for Almost Always. 3 for Usually. 2 for Seldom. And 1 for Never.
1. Do you let people finish what they’re trying to say before you speak?
2. If the person hesitates, do you try to encourage him/her rather than start your reply?
3. Do you withhold judgment about the person’s ideas until he/she has finished?
4. Can you listen fully even though you think you know what he or she is about to say?
5. Can you listen non-judgmentally even if you do not like the person who is talking?
6. Do you stop what you’re doing and give full attention when listening?
7. Do you give the person appropriate eye contact, head nods and nonverbals to indicate you’re listening?
8. Do you listen fully regardless of the speaker’s manner of speaking (e.g., grammar, accent, choice of words)?
9. Do you paraphrase and use clarifying questions to ensure that you understand?
Add up your score. Then, follow me on Facebook to see what the scores mean.
“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” – Dalai Lama
Let 2016 be a year of listening and learning!
Till next time,
Karen
